It's odd that the biggest question that was answered of me at Center Parcs was last week was one of the smallest ones I had on my mind. I'd spent the whole week before Center Parcs doing nights at a homeless shelter, and in the days non-stop on the newly acquired Football Manager 2011. Weird week. The shelter was awesome and I made some good friends with some interesting habits (honestly, homeless people have THE most fascinating stories), but then in the day just feeding this self-indulgent video game habit. No prayer, no time for God, no bible.
Then at Center Parcs I quickly realised what my favourite hobby is, and sadly video games lost out in the process. My favourite hobby by far and away is time with God, when I feel the Holy Spirit come on me big style.
So since coming back, I booted up the computer a few times, start up Football Manager, intend to play but then get distracted. It's a complete opposite of before. Before I got distracted from God's presence by video games, now the presence of God is so strong I get distracted from video games by the Spirit. Within minutes of starting Football Manager, I'm on Spotify getting and listening to Christian music or reading a friends blog, I'm encouraging a Christian friend or having a deep chat on Facebook, I'm reading my bible or facedown on the carpet resting in the prescence of my Father. If this wasn't the Holy Spirit, I'd tell it to go away for getting in the way of my Football Manager time.
I feel like at the very least, God has broke into my life and isn't letting go of me. Now this passion is something I want to use to impact my church, my youth group and students. I've already started seeing a change in my attitude to the ministries I'm involved in. I no longer just want to run places where it is just a fun environment, because what fun is an environment without Jesus.
It's selfish to hide this anymore. I have seen unimaginable healings, unimaginable freedom yet sometimes I just can't be bothered to go that extra mile, to ask a friend if they want prayer, to build a relationship with the bagel shop guy, to help that lady with shopping on here way home. I've just noticed that little shift, and God has broke in just a little more, and the more time I spend on Him, the more he breaks in, YES FATHER, I LOVE YOU!
Thanks for reading, god bless,
Davey
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
Sunday, 9 January 2011
Authenticity
So, I've been thinking long and hard about what to write. I've had one of the most monumental weeks of my life, and really to put it into words is to do injustice to it. First let me start off with a few highlights:
Testimony was one of the key ways in which this environment was created, by allowing people to come up and share the deepest and often darkest in front of a room of 100+ people and rather than be judged, be cheered, many receiving standing ovations. People who made me especially proud being Jo Nathan, Rhoda Areington and Abigail Smith, while special mention for me goes to Phillip Drew Smith and Victoria Myers. This was addictive, and before you knew it people were going up twice to share (guilty as charged). These honest testimonies broke right into the hearts of those sitting watching. Rather than the audience looking on judging and trying to distance themselves from those sharing to make themselves feel better, quite the opposite happened, instead they identified with those sharing and had many of their own flaws highlighted.
Another great thing about this environment was the amount of failure (including me asking a girl out, and falling flat on my ass, ha!). With many bring prophesies, words of knowledge about healing and praying for healing and freedom, there were bound to be some unsuccessfull stories, and indeed there were, but what was phenomenal was that rather than wallow in our own self pity, we could look around the room and excite in the joy of our brothers and sisters.
This lead to trust. Many I talked to expressed their reservations about obvious expressions of The Spirit, often saying they were dubious and though people might be 'faking it.' In this environment of joy and trust though, there was just joy that our brothers and sisters were experiencing the power of The Spirit, and no resentment that they were feeling it more than us, instead just joy watching them enjoy The Spirit.
Many of us were sad to leave centre parcs, and wished it lasted longer, but I was excited. The mission starts now for many of us, and it is our job for those of us that were there to bring back this environment into our home churches. This in no easy mission, and we will face resistance and challenges, but if we have seen The Spirit move so powerfully yet have no desire to see everyone one of our brothers and sisters in Christ impacted in the same way what are we? This our mission, there are so many Christians that have never experienced this kind of freedom, so many who feel alone, just like we have, and it is our job to bring that home.
Please feel free to contact me about anything you've read in this :)
Thank you for reading, god bless,
Davey
- Healing - That it happens, first off saw a few brothers and sisters, Deli of a foot thing, which now means she can walk properly, which is awesome. Jon of a tooth thing, his teeth actually changed angle in his mouth while being prayed for, awesome. The biggest lessons I learnt though were to celebrate the little successes, like we prayed for our deaf friend Jack to be healed, and he was, he heard for an evening, that's a success, but we all seemed rather glum the next day the healing had not been permanent. Also, to be as creative as Jesus was, try weird stuff, for me it was pouring water in Jack's ears and making Zach eat sugar, they didn't necessarily work, but it was putting my reputation on the line to show I cared for them and to show God I had faith in him, plus it makes healing a hell of a lot more fun.
- Father - That I have an awesome heavenly father, who loves me very much, has overseen every moment in my life (got a guy give me a moment from my past, one of the saddest, when my dad left, saying God was watching over me), and wanted nothing more for me than to forgive my earthly father (reminded by covering my face with my scarf while Zach was praying with me, and then finding it covered in blood, not forgetting that day in a hurry), and understand that he is a normal person who makes mistakes, and I should forgive him for that. I know you read these dad, I can check the stats and have 16 views from Mexico ;). So dad, consider yourself forgiven and loved, I harbour no resentment towards you and would love a phone call soon to catch up.
- Freedom - I stood when they asked if we wanted freedom from demonic forces. I was sceptical, always have been of demonic forces. As Simon Holley prayed, with my eyes closed I heard noises, wails, screams, coughs, and quickly got distracted. I wanted these things to happen to me to prove I was free, but they didn't. Then I realised I was focusing on the manifestations and not on God, so my attention turned, and I began repeating the phrase 'I accept your forgiveness' to myself. I have a problem with pornography and masturbation, born out of events in my childhood, and I need to drill into my head God forgives me for anything that has, will and is happening. As a friend cam and prayed for me (cheers Joel), I feel to my knees, and then as that happened, completing not desiring manifestations, my hands began to tingle. It got stronger and stronger, and my hands fizzed, like they were filled with pins and needles. I finished praying yet the sensation continued, and i walked around with my hands in praying position, talking to friends, having to ask Zach to get me a drink as I couldn't use my hands. Mad, but I didn't desire the manifestation, it was just a cool side effect. For me it symbolised that while I may use my hands to sin again, in God's eyes they are cleansed, and he was just re cleaning them to remind me.
Testimony was one of the key ways in which this environment was created, by allowing people to come up and share the deepest and often darkest in front of a room of 100+ people and rather than be judged, be cheered, many receiving standing ovations. People who made me especially proud being Jo Nathan, Rhoda Areington and Abigail Smith, while special mention for me goes to Phillip Drew Smith and Victoria Myers. This was addictive, and before you knew it people were going up twice to share (guilty as charged). These honest testimonies broke right into the hearts of those sitting watching. Rather than the audience looking on judging and trying to distance themselves from those sharing to make themselves feel better, quite the opposite happened, instead they identified with those sharing and had many of their own flaws highlighted.
Another great thing about this environment was the amount of failure (including me asking a girl out, and falling flat on my ass, ha!). With many bring prophesies, words of knowledge about healing and praying for healing and freedom, there were bound to be some unsuccessfull stories, and indeed there were, but what was phenomenal was that rather than wallow in our own self pity, we could look around the room and excite in the joy of our brothers and sisters.
This lead to trust. Many I talked to expressed their reservations about obvious expressions of The Spirit, often saying they were dubious and though people might be 'faking it.' In this environment of joy and trust though, there was just joy that our brothers and sisters were experiencing the power of The Spirit, and no resentment that they were feeling it more than us, instead just joy watching them enjoy The Spirit.
Many of us were sad to leave centre parcs, and wished it lasted longer, but I was excited. The mission starts now for many of us, and it is our job for those of us that were there to bring back this environment into our home churches. This in no easy mission, and we will face resistance and challenges, but if we have seen The Spirit move so powerfully yet have no desire to see everyone one of our brothers and sisters in Christ impacted in the same way what are we? This our mission, there are so many Christians that have never experienced this kind of freedom, so many who feel alone, just like we have, and it is our job to bring that home.
Please feel free to contact me about anything you've read in this :)
Thank you for reading, god bless,
Davey
Monday, 3 January 2011
A heightened sense of anticipation
So, sitting on my bed with my clothes and bag next to me packing for a week at center parcs. It's all been building to this. It's what it feels like, this heightened sense, this anticipation, I have barely stopped smiling all morning.
In life you rarely get these moments. For those of you that don't know, I'm doing a volunteer year for my church called FP-Impact, and part of that year is a week away at center parcs with all the other FPers from across the country. It's a week of solid teaching, worship and all that shabang.
As I was dancing round my room this morning, I knelt down and began praying, asking God to bless the FPers, and asking him to open me up to anything. As I was thanking my Father, tears, swelled up, I know that so much has He done for me, but this sense won't go away, this sense of a BIG week.
I have no idea what's in store from God. I've prepped myself with food, dishwasher tablets (oooooo!!). The biggest thing I've been worrying about is my wardrobe in preparation for it, as if God really cares about my wardrobe (even got new boots, ha, proper vain). That's the thing though, I'm so helpless to what God will do. All I can fuss about is my wardrobe and hair, this week is so much mystery but I have such clear expectations of great things.
I'll blog again in a week with what's happened, but I know I do, and I'm sure the other FPers would all appreciate your prayers in this time :)
Thanks for reading, love you guys,
Davey
In life you rarely get these moments. For those of you that don't know, I'm doing a volunteer year for my church called FP-Impact, and part of that year is a week away at center parcs with all the other FPers from across the country. It's a week of solid teaching, worship and all that shabang.
As I was dancing round my room this morning, I knelt down and began praying, asking God to bless the FPers, and asking him to open me up to anything. As I was thanking my Father, tears, swelled up, I know that so much has He done for me, but this sense won't go away, this sense of a BIG week.
I have no idea what's in store from God. I've prepped myself with food, dishwasher tablets (oooooo!!). The biggest thing I've been worrying about is my wardrobe in preparation for it, as if God really cares about my wardrobe (even got new boots, ha, proper vain). That's the thing though, I'm so helpless to what God will do. All I can fuss about is my wardrobe and hair, this week is so much mystery but I have such clear expectations of great things.
I'll blog again in a week with what's happened, but I know I do, and I'm sure the other FPers would all appreciate your prayers in this time :)
Thanks for reading, love you guys,
Davey
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Celebrating Lifes Little Victories
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big ideas person, I think a lot about mainly the church and the way it is expressed in the world. Now, when you are a big ideas person, it can become infuriating that these things aren't happening. You become obsessed with the 'bigger picture' and lose sight of what is happening around you.
Now here's a phrase I heard a while back that changed the way I do things completely:
Now here's a phrase I heard a while back that changed the way I do things completely:
"Jesus didn't start his ministry (work) till he was 30"
So, the guy who I try to model my life on, Jesus, didn't start his serious ministry till he was 30, a whole 9 years older than me! It relaxed me and freed me a lot.
Really we are in a society where there is a lot of pressure to do a lot of things younger and younger. Sebastian Vettel has just become the youngest F1 champion ever at 23, Justin Bieber's a multi millionaire in his teens, my sister is a mum at 20. Now by no means are these bad things, their achievements are great, but it puts pressure on those in church ministry to do the same. I want to be doing some insane revolutionary ministry at age 21!
Recently though I have come to a point where I realise that this isn't the biblical way. This isn't a revolutionary way of life. I live an ordinary life of twenties frustration. But then the shift of thinking came about. Rather than always focusing on what wasn't happening, what plans I wanted to happen in the future, I started celebrating the small victories, and each small victory lead to a bigger victory which in turn I celebrated. This came in ideas. I manged to get a leadership position in youth, which lead to a little celebration. Then my first youth social had 12 youth, which lead to a bigger celebration, all the time thanking my maker and Father.
I realised though, this attitude didn't just have to apply to my ministry, to my ideas, this attitude spilled over into my problems, my sin. The natural tendency with my sin was to look at the problem and think it was too big to heal, too big to overcome. The most prominent one for me is pornography. It's a BIG problem, and sometimes I just felt overwhelmed with guilt, and helpless for it to be overcome. Now my attitude is shifting, instead I celebrate the small victories. Recently I went 12 days without pornography in my life, then I went back to it for an evening. I repented, and then after rather than dwell on the sin, I choose to celebrate the 12 days without it, and it feels liberating.
This is the biblical way, the story of the prodigal son. God rejoices over that one victory, having a huge epic party. This lifestyle is grace-filled, uncondemning, and completely counter cultural. The thing is when we thank God and celebrate what we do have, the little victories we have had, God will then give us more. We need not pressure ourselves to work harder to get a better job in ministry, more people at church, less sin in our lives, what we need to do is celebrate the victories we do have with God, and more victories will come out of that. In a city where young people look to overpressured business people like The Aprentice employees as role models, we can offer this message of freedon and release.
Thank you for reading,
Davey
So, the guy who I try to model my life on, Jesus, didn't start his serious ministry till he was 30, a whole 9 years older than me! It relaxed me and freed me a lot.
Really we are in a society where there is a lot of pressure to do a lot of things younger and younger. Sebastian Vettel has just become the youngest F1 champion ever at 23, Justin Bieber's a multi millionaire in his teens, my sister is a mum at 20. Now by no means are these bad things, their achievements are great, but it puts pressure on those in church ministry to do the same. I want to be doing some insane revolutionary ministry at age 21!
Recently though I have come to a point where I realise that this isn't the biblical way. This isn't a revolutionary way of life. I live an ordinary life of twenties frustration. But then the shift of thinking came about. Rather than always focusing on what wasn't happening, what plans I wanted to happen in the future, I started celebrating the small victories, and each small victory lead to a bigger victory which in turn I celebrated. This came in ideas. I manged to get a leadership position in youth, which lead to a little celebration. Then my first youth social had 12 youth, which lead to a bigger celebration, all the time thanking my maker and Father.
I realised though, this attitude didn't just have to apply to my ministry, to my ideas, this attitude spilled over into my problems, my sin. The natural tendency with my sin was to look at the problem and think it was too big to heal, too big to overcome. The most prominent one for me is pornography. It's a BIG problem, and sometimes I just felt overwhelmed with guilt, and helpless for it to be overcome. Now my attitude is shifting, instead I celebrate the small victories. Recently I went 12 days without pornography in my life, then I went back to it for an evening. I repented, and then after rather than dwell on the sin, I choose to celebrate the 12 days without it, and it feels liberating.
This is the biblical way, the story of the prodigal son. God rejoices over that one victory, having a huge epic party. This lifestyle is grace-filled, uncondemning, and completely counter cultural. The thing is when we thank God and celebrate what we do have, the little victories we have had, God will then give us more. We need not pressure ourselves to work harder to get a better job in ministry, more people at church, less sin in our lives, what we need to do is celebrate the victories we do have with God, and more victories will come out of that. In a city where young people look to overpressured business people like The Aprentice employees as role models, we can offer this message of freedon and release.
Thank you for reading,
Davey
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Fear of Gifts
What a week, sometimes being a Christian is just that, being a Christian, a person with faith. But then there are times that remind you that there's so much more to it than that. So much more available to us than just reading a book (okay, not just any old book, but you get the point), going to church and trying to live 'a good life'. We forget that the sheer ability to live 'a good life' is through a little old thing called the Holy Spirit that genuinely does live in us. Honestly I look at myself from two years ago, and know that in no way was that person heading towards where I am now, that person was heading to serial dating, lots of sex and loads more booze. Now I look at who I am and even having the audactity to try and attribute these changes to myself is ridiculous, the person I am now could only be created through intervention and looking after, exactly what the Spirit has done.
Now this is where it comes to the interesting part. This week has been mad and the Spirit has moved powerfully in me, and I got prophesied over, which is a very mad thing to have happen, especially when it's far too accurate for comfort! I've come to realise that the Spirit really lives i me and does how He pleases. He will decide my gifts and I have no say in that, but this week has scared me. My fellow FP guys have really encouraged me, and though I have not always taken the compliments well, I really appreciate it. I'd like to especially thank Amanda, Neal, Fi, Mark, Andy, Louisa and Pete. Your comments have really stuck with me.
What I've come to realise though is that the Spirit might want to use me, in areas that require responsability, and this has inadvertently brought up a fear in me. I didn't realise, but I'm scared of responsability, because I haven't had people have faith in me before, I've often been told I'm not good enough. From the moment my school teacher Mrs. Coulthard said "I wouldn't trust you as far as I can throw you," to not hearing affirmation from my father that he believed in me often enough. If your reading this dad, I love you loads anyway and don't hold this against you. What this has done though has left me unable to know how to accept responsibility. When I've been given it I've crumbled. As a fundraiser I was told I'd be made team leader in two weeks if I kept doing what I was doing, as soon as I heard that my numbers plummeted and I never became a team leader. At sixth form my psychology teacher said I was his best student and was sure I'd get an A. I bummed out at C. At university I was easily on course for a 1st in second year, but again ended up with a 3rd.
Now the dilemma I face is I can feel the Spirit starting to use me, and I hear people saying to me I am gifted, and it triggers in me a negative reaction, which isn't what I want, but what I feel. I feel like a confident guy, but then being an important guy is a whole different ball game. I guess it really scares me that God has faith in me.
I will allow the Spirit to work in me, and I will not allow the devil to use the negativity of my past to stop the Spirit working in me, and I thank God for helping me notice something in myself I'd never realised was a problem, but I ask you guys, especially FP guys to get alongside me and encourage me like you faithfully have, as I will need it. If I look uncomfortable with a compliment force me to enjoy and accept it.
Thank you for reading,
Davey
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
Ups and Downs
So another day as passed and I'm still technically homeless! Well, I'm staying at my mum's at the moment, which isn't bad, but not really near my church and a mission to get to late at night.
So an air of optimism entered my world yesterday, as a house viewing came up. It was in Roehampton (the rough part near Putney, perfect for me as I love the rough parts), affordable rent, no deposit with Christian housemates. I went round the house, nervous, like that feeling you get when you fancy someone and go on a first date, very odd to have that feeling about a house. I met the housemates, we got on very well and I told them how I needed a place, they seemed positive about me moving in and said they'd get back to me soon.
Well, this morning the dreaded text came through with 'No.' Now this is the fourth house I've seriously looked at, after starting my search way back at the start of July with no success. Two houses pulled out, the other two too expensive. This is in addition to trawling through many other houses. I get asked that question sometimes, has anything stolen your joy recently. This definitely has, it has got me so down, I could barely function this afternoon. It really is a weight on my shoulders I really want to get rid of, and one of those times I start to question God's plan.
After many people providing me supportive texts and Facebook stuff, often bible verses, I've come to realise a lot of us are going through rough patches quite often. It sucks, big time, but this is my life as God has planned it. It's for my good, and the more I question God the more I confuse myself. You get advice in these times like 'it could be worse.' While that is true, I could be genuinely homeless or much worse, it doesn't much help me feel better about it. What is a problem to you now is a problem, and if it is stealing your joy it's stealing your joy, whether there could be worse scenarios isn't the issue.
Then you come to realise though that this is the time when I am strengthened in God. I'm down, I'm weak, I'm weary and just a little bit pissed off. Put this together and I'm not gonna be at my best when house hunting, or the most appealing of housemates. Put this is my hands, I'm lose. Put this in the hands of God, and I'll get the best place for me no matter what. It will be the best place for me, because it's the only place and God has planned it that way. Put it in God's hands and I can relax, take a breath and wait for that place to come (obviously while still house hunting, not just sitting on my behind)! Having God really does make things so much easier. This afternoon I was pissed off and sad for around 2-3 hours, and last night for about an hour, in addition to maybe 12 hours before. That's sixteen hours for two months of houselessness, not too bad in my books. Without God, this would be THE big issue on my mind, nagging and getting into everything I did, and taking over even the fun things I try to do. I'd resent people around me for not helping and probably get in a bad state of affairs. With God I can relax a lot, and I love the people around me because they are all praying for me and into this situation, and then through that God has prompted many of them to practically help, with meals, a place to chill for a few hours, a bed overnight, in fact I'm heading off to someones house for dinner right now (thanks Ben and Debs).
Bottom line is "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I shall come forth as gold" Job 23 v 10 (Cheers Bex)!
Thanks for reading,
Davey
So an air of optimism entered my world yesterday, as a house viewing came up. It was in Roehampton (the rough part near Putney, perfect for me as I love the rough parts), affordable rent, no deposit with Christian housemates. I went round the house, nervous, like that feeling you get when you fancy someone and go on a first date, very odd to have that feeling about a house. I met the housemates, we got on very well and I told them how I needed a place, they seemed positive about me moving in and said they'd get back to me soon.
Well, this morning the dreaded text came through with 'No.' Now this is the fourth house I've seriously looked at, after starting my search way back at the start of July with no success. Two houses pulled out, the other two too expensive. This is in addition to trawling through many other houses. I get asked that question sometimes, has anything stolen your joy recently. This definitely has, it has got me so down, I could barely function this afternoon. It really is a weight on my shoulders I really want to get rid of, and one of those times I start to question God's plan.
After many people providing me supportive texts and Facebook stuff, often bible verses, I've come to realise a lot of us are going through rough patches quite often. It sucks, big time, but this is my life as God has planned it. It's for my good, and the more I question God the more I confuse myself. You get advice in these times like 'it could be worse.' While that is true, I could be genuinely homeless or much worse, it doesn't much help me feel better about it. What is a problem to you now is a problem, and if it is stealing your joy it's stealing your joy, whether there could be worse scenarios isn't the issue.
Then you come to realise though that this is the time when I am strengthened in God. I'm down, I'm weak, I'm weary and just a little bit pissed off. Put this together and I'm not gonna be at my best when house hunting, or the most appealing of housemates. Put this is my hands, I'm lose. Put this in the hands of God, and I'll get the best place for me no matter what. It will be the best place for me, because it's the only place and God has planned it that way. Put it in God's hands and I can relax, take a breath and wait for that place to come (obviously while still house hunting, not just sitting on my behind)! Having God really does make things so much easier. This afternoon I was pissed off and sad for around 2-3 hours, and last night for about an hour, in addition to maybe 12 hours before. That's sixteen hours for two months of houselessness, not too bad in my books. Without God, this would be THE big issue on my mind, nagging and getting into everything I did, and taking over even the fun things I try to do. I'd resent people around me for not helping and probably get in a bad state of affairs. With God I can relax a lot, and I love the people around me because they are all praying for me and into this situation, and then through that God has prompted many of them to practically help, with meals, a place to chill for a few hours, a bed overnight, in fact I'm heading off to someones house for dinner right now (thanks Ben and Debs).
Bottom line is "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I shall come forth as gold" Job 23 v 10 (Cheers Bex)!
Thanks for reading,
Davey
Sunday, 12 September 2010
Testimony
Testimony is something God's taught me alot about in my Christian life. I've seen loads of people give theirs, but there is always one that stuck in my mind and changed my life forever.
Last November in a pub in a Putney, a friend of mine named Becky Smith went to the front and shared something that can't have been easy to share. You could see it in her face that it wasn't easy, but she said she felt God telling her to say it, so in turn did. I went in that room that day expecting a bit of worship, but of prayer, and to be honest felt confident in my faith. Felt like I 'was in a good place' (have since learnt to never have that feeling as God will chuck a massive issue in my face soon after!). Her testimony changed me, it made me begin balling, I felt weak. I'd been a porn addict since I was like 13 and her testimony was attacking right at the heart of that issue. Anyways, I fell on my knees, trying to resist God, trying not to have to sort this out, I was ashamed and didn't want to look weak. In the end though I forced myself forwards for prayer. Now while this didn't solve the issue, something like this doesn't always go away in a day, I'm happy to say I've been clean of porn for over 40 days now, thank you God.
Anyways, what Becky taught me is God gave us testimonies for a reason, and it's the difficult issues that are indeed the hardest to tell. But these issues are the ones that unlock people. Becky's testimony unlocked me and countless other people in that room. What she did is the heart of servant hood. She sacrificed her own pride, her own standing with the people in that room in the hope her words might touch and change just a few hearts in that room. In my experience, God really rewards bravery like that. Ever since that day, when presented the opportunity to tell my own testimony I try not to shy away from the big details, and try to help my friends do the same. I've seen one of my best friends, who would admit himself is not a confident public speaker, go up in front of our church and share some extremely personal stuff, I was so proud and God rewarded him big time.
Now this week came a new chapter in the life of Davey, my volunteer year for church (FP Impact) started. Day two of training came about and I was presented the opportunity to share my testimony. Now in no way can I tell my whole testimony in 5 minutes, so I picked a tough area which God has really changed in my life. That area was male relationships. The men in my life as I have grown up have never been too loving, I've never been given hugs or given words of affirmation. This lead to me finding it difficult to make deep male friendships, and having real ease making deep female friendships. I never used to share my life with male friends, though was happy to do it with girls/girlfriends. I prayed on this and God had since healed the issue. I have a few good male friends now, in particular Rob and Tom, who I've connected with more than any other guys in my life. Now, this stuff isn't easy for me to share, but I hoped it would unlock the room a bit, and after I felt that people were able to be a bit more honest, and the worship time after was quality. Now just a few days later, imagine the scenario. Your asked by a guy you just met to share your testimony with 20 African boys, tired after a game of football really wanting to go home. Not the easiest atmosphere, but God's taught me that testimony unlocks people. So I loaded my testimony shotgun up and gave it to them. They were a slightly more rowdy and responsive audience, but they listened still, and one boy seemed to be intently listening.
Anyways, testimony is a journey for me. I would love at some point in my future to be involved in a Christian testimony school, helping train people on how to have shotgun testimonies rather than water pistols. Every single time I have seen people bravely step out with their testimony, making themselves uncomfortable and nervous just for the chance to change one persons life, God has rewarded it big time, so it is something I will continue to push into and learn more about.
If you want to talk to me about any of this, want help with your testimony or just want to hear mine, please get in touch :)
Thanks for reading,
Davey
Last November in a pub in a Putney, a friend of mine named Becky Smith went to the front and shared something that can't have been easy to share. You could see it in her face that it wasn't easy, but she said she felt God telling her to say it, so in turn did. I went in that room that day expecting a bit of worship, but of prayer, and to be honest felt confident in my faith. Felt like I 'was in a good place' (have since learnt to never have that feeling as God will chuck a massive issue in my face soon after!). Her testimony changed me, it made me begin balling, I felt weak. I'd been a porn addict since I was like 13 and her testimony was attacking right at the heart of that issue. Anyways, I fell on my knees, trying to resist God, trying not to have to sort this out, I was ashamed and didn't want to look weak. In the end though I forced myself forwards for prayer. Now while this didn't solve the issue, something like this doesn't always go away in a day, I'm happy to say I've been clean of porn for over 40 days now, thank you God.
Anyways, what Becky taught me is God gave us testimonies for a reason, and it's the difficult issues that are indeed the hardest to tell. But these issues are the ones that unlock people. Becky's testimony unlocked me and countless other people in that room. What she did is the heart of servant hood. She sacrificed her own pride, her own standing with the people in that room in the hope her words might touch and change just a few hearts in that room. In my experience, God really rewards bravery like that. Ever since that day, when presented the opportunity to tell my own testimony I try not to shy away from the big details, and try to help my friends do the same. I've seen one of my best friends, who would admit himself is not a confident public speaker, go up in front of our church and share some extremely personal stuff, I was so proud and God rewarded him big time.
Now this week came a new chapter in the life of Davey, my volunteer year for church (FP Impact) started. Day two of training came about and I was presented the opportunity to share my testimony. Now in no way can I tell my whole testimony in 5 minutes, so I picked a tough area which God has really changed in my life. That area was male relationships. The men in my life as I have grown up have never been too loving, I've never been given hugs or given words of affirmation. This lead to me finding it difficult to make deep male friendships, and having real ease making deep female friendships. I never used to share my life with male friends, though was happy to do it with girls/girlfriends. I prayed on this and God had since healed the issue. I have a few good male friends now, in particular Rob and Tom, who I've connected with more than any other guys in my life. Now, this stuff isn't easy for me to share, but I hoped it would unlock the room a bit, and after I felt that people were able to be a bit more honest, and the worship time after was quality. Now just a few days later, imagine the scenario. Your asked by a guy you just met to share your testimony with 20 African boys, tired after a game of football really wanting to go home. Not the easiest atmosphere, but God's taught me that testimony unlocks people. So I loaded my testimony shotgun up and gave it to them. They were a slightly more rowdy and responsive audience, but they listened still, and one boy seemed to be intently listening.
Anyways, testimony is a journey for me. I would love at some point in my future to be involved in a Christian testimony school, helping train people on how to have shotgun testimonies rather than water pistols. Every single time I have seen people bravely step out with their testimony, making themselves uncomfortable and nervous just for the chance to change one persons life, God has rewarded it big time, so it is something I will continue to push into and learn more about.
If you want to talk to me about any of this, want help with your testimony or just want to hear mine, please get in touch :)
Thanks for reading,
Davey
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